You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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