I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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