I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
