yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
