Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
