i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
