I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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