So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
