thus making me awesome and them whores
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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