Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
