is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
is it fun? or sober?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
