UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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