Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
