I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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