just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The air was thick with penises
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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