I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
