At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
