Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
