In the future we'll all be gay
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
