her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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