I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
