apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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