My hand turned me down
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
