I heard we made out
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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