on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
