you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
