apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
