the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
