is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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