Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
