I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
accomplished twins. life is a go
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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