I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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