If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
