i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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