Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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