hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
