Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
