my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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