did you get engaged???
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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