It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
