Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
