HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
