I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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