whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
