The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The beer is more important than you right now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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