The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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