tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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