? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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