So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
