Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
