You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
