I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
