We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
More tranny stories later!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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