so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
