im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
